Everyone's a Little Bit Mary
by streco
Summary: The flock finally decides that, yes, everyone's a little bit Mary Sue. XD To Everyone's a Little Bit Racist from Avenue Q... even if you don't know Ave Q, it's still kinda funny. :]


**Fang: **Hey, Max, can I ask you a question?

**Max: **Sure.

**Fang: **Do you have a really normal past and a regular life?

**Max: **What?! I'm surprised at you! I find that Mary-Sue accusing!

**Fang: **_(gasps)_ Jeez, I'm sorry! It's just that all the fic writers seem to think that you were molested and stuff!

**Max: **_WHAT_, do you think they tell the TRUTH? HUH?

**Fang: **No!

**Max: **HUH?

**Fang: **No!

**Max: **HUH?

**Fang: **No! Oh, man, I'm sorry, I guess that _was _a little accusing.

**Max: **I would say so! You should be much more careful around a sensitive subject like Mary-Sueism!

**Fang: **Well I get it to! I'm a cutter/emo/gayboy in disguise, apparently!

**Max: **Of course you are!

**Fang: **Ahahahaha, _you see?  
_YOU'RE A LITTLE BIT MARY!

**Max: **WE'LL YOU'RE A LITTLE BIT SUE!

**Fang: **YOU KNOW THE READERS THINK WE ARE EMO...

**Max: **AND I DON'T THINK THAT'S SUCH A NICE THING TO DO!

**Fang: **ME NEITHER, DUDE.

**Max: **BETWEEN ME AND YOU I THINK—

**Both: **EVERYONE'S A LITTLE BIT MARY  
SOMETIMES  
DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE EVIL AND WE AREN'T VERY NIII-III-IIICE...  
LOOK AROUND AND YOU WILL SEE  
MARY SUE'S ARE JUST OC'S  
CANON CHARACTERS ARE NEVER THAA-AAA-AAT BAD  
SO IF YOU WOULD BACK OFF  
THAT WOULD BE RAD.

**Fang: **_(puts on sunglasses) _

**Max: **_(wtfs)_

**Fang: **It's not like like things—like maybe you had a fight with Jeb or something, or maybe you and Ari used to... _(shudder) like _each other...

**Max: **No, nothing like _that_...

**Fang: **No, just big things, like you were raped or I slit my wrists with a can opener!

**Max: **Right!

**Both: **EVERYONE'S A LITTLE BIT MARY  
RELAAAAAX  
BUT NOBODY IS JUST ABOUT AS MARY  
AS MAA-AAA-AAX!  
SHE IS ALWAYS TARGETED  
TO BE THE ONE WHO DID BAD SHIT  
AND THE ONE WHOSE TEARS HAVE MOST BEEN SHE-EE-EE-EEDDDD.  
STOP WITH MAX-IS-SAD FICS  
OR YOU'RE DEAD.

**Fang: **Alright, stop me if you've heard this one. There's me, you, Iggy—the whole flock. And there's only _one _traitor—and the traitor happens to be—

**Max: **Angel!

**Fang: **Yeah!

**Angel: **_(walks in at bad time)_ Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Max?!?!

**Max: **Uhhhh...

**Angel: **You were telling an Angel-is-bad story, weren't you?

**Fang: **Yeah, well, sure, Angel, lots of authors write Angel-is-bad stories.

**Angel: **I don't.

**Fang: **Well of course _you _don't—you're Angel. But I bet you like Ari-makes-out-with-Angel-and-turns-her-into-Jeb's-minion stories, right?

**Angel: **Of course I do! Those crazy authors! Ahaha! _(sighs dreamily)_

**Fang: **Now don't you think _that's _a little bit Mary?

**Angel: **... well damn! I guess you're right!

**Max: **YOU'RE A LITTLE BIT MARY!

**Angel:** WELL YOU'RE A LITTLE BIT SUE!

**Fang: **WE'RE ALL A LITTLE BIT MARY!

**Angel: **I THINK THAT I WOULD HAVE TO AGREE WITH YOU!

**Max & Fang: **WE'RE GLAD YOU DO!

**Angel: **IT'S SAD... BUT TRUE!  
EVERYONE'S A LITTLE BIT MARY; ALRIGHT?

**Max: **Alright!

**Fang: **Alright!

**Angel: **ALRIGHT!  
FICS ARE ALWAYS SPEAKING OF HOW I AM  
NOT NIII-III-IIICE

**Max, Fang, Angel:** YOU DON'T KNOW THE REAL ANGEL  
SWEET AND PRETTY AND, JUST, WELL  
GEN-ER-AL-LY QUITE A LITTLE BOOO-OOO-OOO  
SO LEAVE PRECIOUS ALONE  
OR WE'LL KILL YOU!

**Angel: **Where's Iggy? —Ahh, Iggy. Now _there _is an example of a Mary Sue. Being gay...

**Max: **Uh... Angel? Being gay isn't a characteristic of Mary Sues.

**Angel: **Is too!

**Max: **Is not!

**Angel: **Is too!

**Max: **Is not!

**Angel: **Is t—

**Fang: **Guys, guys! _Iggy _is _straight!_

**All three: **AHAHAHAHAH!

**The Gasman: **Hey, what're you guys laughing about?

**Angel: **Mary Sues!

**Gazzy: **Cool!

**Nudge: **GAZZY! Come here and finish banging me!

**Everybody: **_(snickers) _

**Fang: **Another GazzyNudge fic where Nudge is all depressed and goes to you for help?

**Gazzy: **Um... yes.

**Everybody: **BWAHAHAHAH!

**Gazzy: **That's not funny! How many times a fic do _you _have to feel unimportant and pubescent and girly and stuff?

**Max: **Oh, c'mon, Gazzy.  
EVERYONE'S A LITTLE BIT MARY!

**Gazzy: **I'm not!

**Fang: **Oh no?

**Gazzy: **No.

**Fang: **Ha!

**Gazzy: **HOW MANY RAGING HORMONES HAVE YOU GOT?

**Nudge: **What? _Gazzy!_

**Fang: **C'MON GAZZY, GO AND ROT  
WE'VE ALL BEEN IN THAT EXACT SAME SPOT

**Nudge: **I KNOW THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO FIGHT MY CAAA-AAA-AAAASE...  
BUT CALLING ME QUITE UNSTABLE?  
THAT ISN'T THAT GREAT!

**Gazzy: **I'm sorry... come finish blowing me...

**Nudge: **I will... but not now.  
MAX IS ALWAYS POPULAR  
AND FANG IS ALWAYS WORSHIPPED  
IGGY GETS ALL OF THE GIRLS  
AND ANGEL GETS ABORTIONS—

**Max: **Me too!

**Ella: **_(makes brief appearance) _Me too!

**Ari: **_(makes brief appearance) _I can't even get a blow job!

**Everyone: **EVERYONE'S A LITTLE BIT MARY  
OR SUE  
BUT EVERYONE IS FIGHTING WITH THE AUTHORS  
GOOD NEEEE-EEE-EEEWS!  
IF THEY WANT TO CONTROL US  
THEY ARE GONNA MAKE WAR A WITH US  
AND WE ARE GONNA WIN 'CAUSE WE'RE THE BEST  
AUTHORS GIVE MARYSUE-UM  
A REEEE-EEEEST!

**Iggy: **Everyone's a little bit Mary!

**A/N: **XDDDDDD.

Review?


End file.
